Hey, y’all! Today I’m celebrating turning 29 and came across a past post I had done for year 26 where I shared 12 things I had learned about life up until that point. Three years later and I’ve had some more lessons so I wanted to share. I’m so grateful for these lessons and for this little space with all of you!

1. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish

2. You do have time for it - you just aren’t prioritizing it.

3. It’s hard to make friends when you get older so meet up with old friends, say yes to meeting new people, and put yourself out there.

4. Stop being so self-critical. You’re the only person it impacts.

5. Failure is inevitable, try anyways.

6. Everyone deals with comparison no matter how happy they seem.

7. Be accountable. Don’t make excuses and move on.

8. If the door closes, there is something better coming. It wasn’t a rejection, but rather a redirection.

9. Do things on your own timeline.

10. Say no and don’t feel bad about it.

11. Surround yourself with who you want to become. You become the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with so choose wisely. Expand that group to those you don’t personally know like podcasts, music, movies, TedTalks, Masterclass, and those you follow on social media.

12. Ask the hard questions up front and don’t ignore red flags.

13. You never grow out of the feeling too young to be doing something.

14. You can do it all - just not at all the same time.

15. Take social media breaks every month.

16. People don’t give and receive love in the same way. Learn their love language.

17. You don’t get judged as often as you think you do. Honestly, they probably don’t even think about it.

18. Gratitude is the catalyst to being happy.

19. When you’re uncomfortable you should pay attention. You’re either growing, learning, or need to make adjustments.

20. Know your value and don’t diminish it for anything or anyone.

21. Never give up. You don’t want to give up on all that time you put into something. For example, you’ve been in business for 5 years and not finding the success you want. What if success came in 5 years and a day?

22. Wake up earlier. It isn’t fun for a while, but it’s worth it.

23. Marriage isn’t 50/50. Most days it’s 70/30, 15/85, or 45/55. Sometimes someone will need to give a little more, support more, or put in more effort.

24. Define and focus on your goals.

25. If you don’t like something, change it. Make decisions, ask for help, move to a new place, change your perspective, and adjust your behavior.

26. Silence is powerful.

27. Wounds don’t heal if you keep touching them.

28. The little moments can matter just as much as the big ones.

29. Optimize your time - it is the one thing in life you can’t get back.

One of the things we’ve all had to come to terms with the last 18 months has been waiting. You can call it patience, lockdown, a closed door, or just not the right time, but in the end, we’ve all been waiting. Waiting for something to happen, waiting for something to be over, waiting for our next opportunity or simply waiting for our turn. Since high school, I remember having a feeling of always wanting the next thing to happen or wishing for the future in some way. Can I just graduate already? College will be so much better! I can’t wait to move away from home and be a grown-up. I can’t wait to be a sophomore so I can live in the sorority house. I can’t wait to graduate and move to Chicago. I can’t wait to…

When always looking ahead there was a lot I missed that was right in front of me. 2020 and even 2021 has been the longest period of waiting I’ve experienced and it’s been on my heart to write about it for a while now. As many of you know we moved to Nashville in November 2020 and started a new chapter of our lives here after living in Chicago for 5 years. I remember being in college and waiting for the weekend Kollin and I would finally move in together after graduation and dating long distance for 3.5 years. I remember waiting for fulfilling the idea of being who I finally wanted to be while living in the city. I remember waiting for the big job I was going to land and the career that was going to start there. I remember waiting for what would become our home. It felt like my senior year was a giant year of waiting.

And when Chicago came, it was amazing. But you know what filled the spaces of the things we finally got? More things we were waiting for. I couldn't wait to move to a new, bigger apartment closer to downtown. I couldn’t wait to make my blog better and get a promotion at work. I was constantly looking forward and constantly in a period of waiting for the next thing. Feeling like I was running toward the next goal, running toward making my next move or planning years in advance of where we were at the moment.

I think as we get older this pressure of what’s next and what your plan will be becomes really real. Maybe it’s just the way we were raised or a high sense of ambition, but it’s a common thread amongst many people I know personally and those I see on social media as well. How long do you stay in the moment of something before you’re looking for your next moment? How long do you appreciate the accomplishment before striving for the next? Do you even celebrate a milestone if there is a bigger one in front of it? When you get engaged the first question is ‘when’s the wedding?’ And then like clockwork, the questions about babies and homes and bigger and better jobs start.

I’ve struggled with this myself in a lot of different areas, but the last 6 months or so have really helped me focus on letting go of the tight grip on the future and being really ok with the present moment even if it doesn’t look like what I or society expected of me. Maybe our current situation doesn’t look like we thought it would 9 months ago when we moved or we have different choices in front of us than the ones we mapped out but isn’t that the beauty of life? The moments in between that help you focus and reground yourself? The moments that make you step back and say is this really what I want?

Living in the unplanned and unsure has been challenging for me to say the least, but I’ve been really comforted by the saying:

Remember when you prayed for exactly where you are right now?

That quote may not be as literal of a reminder to some, but it’s helped me find the peace within the moment I’m in and what I’ve accomplished thus far. I remember when I didn’t want to leave Chicago and was terrified of losing everything we had built there if we moved. I remember being so happy when Kollin came home with champagne when I hit 1,000 followers on Instagram and then hoping and working toward the next thousand. I remember praying for guidance as I wanted to leave a job and was unsure of what my career would look like if I did. But, sitting here at this moment typing to over 6k of you, with a marketing career still intact, a happy husband, corgi, and life in Nashville, I’m so grateful.

Every one of us is waiting for something and while there are many of us who are waiting for something trivial compared to others, the lesson is the same: remember to stop and have gratitude. I’m a believer in the idea that rejection is actually redirection and this period of waiting is actually preparing us for what is truly the right path.

The path to where you are might have looked different than you planned or been harder than you expected, but you’re here. I’ve learned timing isn’t everything and we’ve all seen that plans get derailed. Things get postponed, and waiting is inevitable, but it’s the right now that makes the future what it is - so revel in it. While you’re busy looking forward remember to look back and see how far you’ve come.

It’s taken me some time to put this post together because to be honest, I wasn’t sure what to write about. I was looking for these big, impactful moments that happened in year 26, but then I started thinking about what I’ve actually learned. What has truly impacted me and made me stop in my tracks and it wasn’t all big moments. A lot of them were actually small. I don’t write this post as an advice post or what you should know or do or be at 26, but rather to share my story of what I’ve learned about myself and my journey thus far. And if one person reads this and resonates with it then that’s the goal.  

To be totally honest with y’all, 25 was a tough year for me. I won’t be getting too specific with details, but I want to share the harder points because that’s life and no one’s everyday is all corgis and Prosecco (I wish! 😉), so this will be a long one, but I hope you stick around and share some of your learnings in the comments no matter your age.  We all keep learning, right?

SPREADING LOVE IS MORE POWERFUL THAN WALLOWING IN ENVY

In 2018, things started to pick up with the blog, most of which was behind the scenes, but still very exciting. I was getting partnerships more often, making a little money and actually getting into the whole “blogger” thing. But the more I was gaining in confidence, the comparison game would hit right on queue and it all felt like a drop in the giant “influencer” bucket. 

“She just started and has 5.000 followers. What am I doing wrong?” or “how did she get that partnership, why aren’t I good enough for that?” 

This isn’t just a blogger thing. We enter this everyday no matter our hobby or occupation. But one day I read a post on Instagram and decided to take it to heart. It said “Over the last few months I’ve implemented a new habit to shift negative energy. If I feel myself getting jealous of a woman for her success, I squash that jealousy and reach out and congratulate her instead. Spreading love is more powerful than wallowing in envy.” 

THE MOMENT YOU AREN’T HAPPY, LEAVE.  

You don’t owe anyone anything that outweighs your happiness. Sure, we all have times where things don’t go our way or we have a tough couple days. But if you are consistently unhappy and you know it, make a change. For me, it was a scary step at first, but then I truly realized how much it was really impacting my happiness.  

APPRECIATE BEAUTY WITH YOUR EYES, NOT YOUR CAMERA  

Anyone else instantly reach for your phone to capture the beautiful moment you’re witnessing? I’m so guilty of this and it took a lot for me to realize how much I was living through my camera rather than truly living in that moment of beauty. I can still appreciate it even if Instagram never saw it. 

ACCEPT HELP

You can do anything, but you can’t do it all. Year 25 I took on a lot. Working full time, blog, wedding planning, traveling and the day to day of life catching up with it all. We sometimes feel helpless or inadequate when asking for help, when in reality, people want to help and it takes a strong person to let go and accept that help.  One of the areas that I was so set on being 100% involved in was the wedding. It got to be a lot and stopped being fun because I was trying to do it all from 3 states away. I then realized through conversations with our moms that it’s ok to not do everything. My mom and Kollin’s mom have been God sends in this department and so gracious with their time and efforts during wedding planning.

KNOW YOUR VALUE  

Always be aware of your worth and value to those you are contributing to. What are you giving and is it being reciprocated or even appreciated? Spend your time where your ideas are heard, your voice is valued and you can support the lifestyle you want or have a path to get there in place.  Without those things what are you working toward? I had to learn that even if I loved something, it wasn’t giving me back what I needed and I needed to reevaluate what I was accepting as my worth.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP ISN’T 50/50

There’s a common saying that marriage is 50/50. You each give equal parts to the relationship and there’s an even playing field. While I believe that is somewhat true, I think there is more to the picture. There are times in life where your partner can’t give you 50, or even 20, and not because they don’t want to but because life gets in the way and things happen. Sometimes you pick up the slack. Sometimes you need help reaching 50 and sometimes you both only get to 35. Something that Kollin and I have experienced in this last year of engagement is that yes, respect and love should always be at 100%. If you can’t give me more, at least respect and love me. But other times you might need to provide your partner with more than 50 or vice versa.

IT’S NOT WORTH THE HANGOVER

For my new year’s resolution this year I decided I wanted make healthier choices. One of these was cutting out the majority of alcohol. While I haven’t really been much of a drinker anyways since college (GO CATS), I was noticing that even after only a couple drinks, I was not ok the next day. Sure, everyone is entitled to go out and have a crazy night now and again, but I wanted to see what it would be like to give it a change.  

I cut out all hard alcohol and when I drank it was only wine or champagne. I would have at most 2 glasses and restrain myself from the party bug or opt be the DD that night. While sometimes it was a total buzzkill or I felt FOMO, I quickly learned that it was actually working. I felt better, my migraines were decreasing and I was keeping off the extra 2-4 pounds that were previously there from sugary mixed drinks. Oh, and the best part? I didn’t wake up feeling horrible from a night out. This is something I’ve been doing since January and I’ve really seen a difference. I’ll indulge in a margarita here and there, but I’m liking this new rule for myself!

SPEAK UP

We all have situations where we bite our tongue. We rethink it before we say anything, if we say anything at all. Sometimes being silent is easier than confronting the issue and sometimes that’s the right choice. But year 25 taught me a lot about the situations where you do speak up, even if the words don’t come out in the most eloquent way. I had gotten comfortable staying silent because it was easier than the argument that was to come if I did, but it was digging a deeper hole. If they don’t hear your voice, they may think you don’t have one. And if you do use it, they may not appreciate it by that time because in their mind it’s too late. 

BE WHO YOU WANT  

Growing up, we might hide parts of ourselves or make decisions based on what others would think. I definitely did and still do, but throughout the last year I’ve really become more comfortable just doing me. For example, for our engagement pictures, I had a vision and did not want to do anything else. I wanted to be me. The me that wore a formal dress in 90 degree heat in a park in the dirt and grass. I wanted to be the weird mix of myself that loves fashion and is a little extra because it’s fun, while also staying true to my roots. Being comfortable with my choices of expressing who I am has been one of my favorite learnings this year. 

MENTAL HEALTH IS REAL. EVEN IF YOU DON’T NOTICE IT AT FIRST.  

I’ve always been a pretty “balanced” person. I know my feelings and what to do when I feel certain ways. But like I mentioned, 25 was a tough year and I started experiencing things I hadn’t dealt with before. Anxiety, burn out, anger, and not giving things my all. Certain aspects of life were really taking a toll on me and I didn’t pay attention to them until others brought them to light or I couldn’t ignore them anymore. Taking care of your mental health and what is best for you is a top priority. No matter how small or silly it might seem.  

LET OTHERS PUSH YOU TO BE A BETTER VERSION OF YOURSELF

Kollin gets all the credit for this one. I’m a creature of habit and am completely comfortable not pushing the boundaries on much. Enter Kollin Edmund Nava. God sure knew what I needed when he put him in my life lol. He is always wanting me to experience new things or push me out of my comfort zone because he knows it’ll open a new side of me. And the majority of the time, he is right. The only time I will not give him credit for? Pushing me to try uni. Still not over it.  

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO TRUST YOUR HEART EVEN IF IT BREAKS THE “RULES” 

This year I was faced with a pretty tough decision. Going through with what I wanted to do was taking longer than I expected and my head kept telling me to wait for the right time. But the more I listened to my head, the unhappier I became. My dad is one of my best friends and I knew he’d be totally honest with me, but also be my dad and give me advice that could be hard to hear, but that I needed to hear. I was fully expecting his response to go one way and to my surprise, he told me to go through with the plan. I knew that if my dad, the most responsible and “do what is right” person I know, was telling me to do it then I knew I had to do it. The best part, the second I made the decision, I instantly felt better and knew it was right.

YOU SHOULD NEVER BE THE SMARTEST PERSON IN THE ROOM

One of the best pieces of business advice I’d ever received was to never be the smartest person in the room. Whether that be the board room, your department, or even just the people you hang out with, always surround yourself with people you can learn and grow from. Having those people will not only develop you, but push you to gain knowledge and insight into whatever it is they provide you.

ACKNOWLEDGE THE HARD TIMES, PRAY ABOUT IT AND MANIFEST IT.

2018 was a hard year for some other people in my life too and last year and this year I did a lot of praying about it. I recently read a quote that said “If you pray for flowers, God will send you rain,” and I loved this perspective. Things take time to grow and mature. Instant gratification is rare and even through the rain we have to remember that the end result will be beautiful and work out. I also started manifesting what I wanted to happen and while this is a bit out there for me, I would basically just pray about what I wanted to be, where I wanted to be and accomplish. And the more I did that, the more I motivated myself, opened up to new things and it started happening. One of the tools I use to do this is called The Morning Pages - it’s a writing exercise that transform the way you start your day and approach creative work. A blogger I love, The Skinny Confidential, did a post about it here. It’s great!

WINE & WHINE

To round out this very long post (bless you if you are still here) I wanted to share a trick my bestie Taylor and I do from time to time. When work or life or whatever it is was getting us down we would schedule a wine and whine. It is exactly what it sounds like. We’d pour ourselves a nice champagne (for me) and pinot (for her) and jump on FaceTime (she’s in NY) and just talk. We’d start complaining about things that annoyed us or something that happened, but we’d eventually just start laughing and talking about life. It is such a great way to unwind. While it sounds like any other girl time, the point was that it was either scheduled or completely random and one person would call see the glass of wine on the phone and stop what they were doing to listen. It has really kept our friendship great and can obviously be done in person if you aren’t long distance besties!

The last time I did this kind of post was year 24 and I read it the other day thankful that I documented part of what was happening with me. So while I do use this as somewhat of a journal, I hope that some of you got something out of it or at least got a good wine idea! Thank you so much for reading and sharing this journey with me. Here’s to 26 - I think it will be the best year yet!

On Saturday this past weekend, Kollin and I were out running errands and began to notice a group of people walking down Michigan Ave. After a few nights of walking out of work and seeing police lights and massive crowds outside Trump Tower (across the street from my office), I assumed it was another protest following the multiple protests there had been since he won the election. 

While I am not one to share political views online and will continue not to do so, I wanted to share some positivity I've been seeing in what seems to be a very negative time for Americans. As we continued walking and noticing the crowds becoming larger and larger, I noticed something was different about this group - they were a majority of women. I'll admit I did not know that women's march was happening that morning and was in complete awe of the solidarity of the group of women who were participating. 

While you may not agree with their message or what they stand for (everyone's opinion is their own and they are entitled to that) there was something that stuck out to me - most of them were not there to protest the new President, but rather to support one another. At previous marches and protests, there were lewd signs, hateful chants and negative vibes and behaviors, even some violence. On Saturday, most of those women just wanted to be heard and not even just for themselves, but for the women next to them, the women watching it on the news and even the women who wanted no part in participating with them. Many of them stated who they were there for: their mother, sister, grandmother, daughters and friends. It is this mentality that I think a lot of our nation is missing - regardless of your opinions and political views, I hope that we can support each other as humans, friends, and equals. It is healthy to debate, disagree and stand up for what you believe in, but when that message is clouded by hate, you've defeated yourself from the start.

I'm sharing this story to share a positive experience I had in a most negative, tumultuous nation right now. When we log into Facebook and see our friends writing statuses about their opinions and the numerous comments that follow about why they are wrong or how they've offended someone, remember this: 

“I think that’s the time to buckle down and really work positively as much as you can. Instead of just saying, ‘This is terrible. He’s terrible.’ Just think, ‘Alright, there’s nothing I can do about that right now but I can do the best in my little circle. So if I do that, maybe you’ll do your best and we’ll get through this.’

You’ve gotta get through it. And you can’t change it, so let’s just one foot in front of another and get through it.”

— Betty White

Understandably, there are people in our nation who are angry, upset, scared and unsure about what is to come. No matter how you choose to "get through it" like Betty said,  I hope that this encourages you to do so positively and in support of the women and men around you and in the world. Without that support and encouragement to our fellow Americans, I think it would be hard to get through anything or accomplish anything.

Your outlook on things is completely up to you. Choose to be positive and it will spread in ways you couldn't imagine. Thanks so much for reading! xx

As the first day of 2016 is here, I look back on 2015 as a year of change. I graduated from The University of Kentucky, moved to a new city with the love of my life, started a new job and chopped off 10 inches of hair. To say the least, there's been a lot of new things headed my way. With 2016 being the first full year out of undergrad, the pressure for adult life sometimes sets in. But, looking forward I wanted to set realistic, opportunity-driven goals.

As cliché as it is, I usually always try to come up with at least one New Year's resolution. When starting my new job, my boss and I discussed goals I wanted to set for myself, both personally and professionally. Having this in mind, I came up with a list of things that I want to accomplish or  start on the path of accomplishing in 2016. 

Give More.

I take the bus each day to work and I pass the same homeless man every morning about a block from my building. Everyday I see him and every day he tells me how much he likes my shoes. As silly as it was the first time he said it, it became a ritual for us in the morning. I would pass him and say, "Good Morning," and he says, "Good Morning, I like those shoes!" 

I am guilt ridden pretty much everyday because I usually cannot give this man more than a smile and "Good Morning" each day. In Chicago it is hard to not have this feeling as you pass multiple homeless men and woman on each block. I wish I could help them all, but as you know, you give what you can. In 2016, I want to strive to give more of myself, whether that be monetary or not. I want to be more intentional about giving back.

Dive Deeper.

As most of you have read, I struggled with finding a job after graduating in May. The industry I thought I would be thriving in, is the one that wouldn't hire me. As you can imagine this was a big blow. To not be where you were pretty certain you would be creates somewhat of an identity crisis. With that being said, I took a leap and tried something new - a completely new industry, while still doing what I love. 

I want to adapt this to all aspects of my life. I want to try new things and once I've tried them I don't want to be scared to dive deeper into them and really find out how they can create value in my life. 

Grow the Blog

2015 was a confusing year for TCB. During my months of finding a job, I had tons of time to devote to TCB and all that running it entails. The blog received more hits, likes, comments and shares than ever before. As my job and work load grew, the blog took a downward turn and so did my motivation to really put effort into keeping the momentum. I apologize to y'all who have been wanting more, but I'm hoping to change this in 2016 and really be devoted to something I love doing so much. 

I've had great feedback from readers and want to give y'all the best experience through TCB. I'm going to be committed to making blogging more of a priority this year!

Deepen My Relationship with God

While I wouldn't call myself deeply religious, I began feeling like something was missing this year. I follow two pretty popular bloggers regularly and began reading their outlooks on God and the way it has affected their lives. 

Kollin and I got back into going to mass and I always had better days and weeks when we did. I began praying more, learning more about the Bible and Jesus' life and thought that if I call myself Catholic I should know more about the person I'm praying to. I bought a journaling Bible and began doing daily devotionals. I really enjoyed having that time, but as I'm sure many of you can relate to, adulting got in the way. Long days at work and the normal household duties were pushing my motivation for "quiet time" down. In 2016 I want to be more devoted to this relationship. If you've been where I am and have some advice about your path through the journey I would love to hear about it!

Always Be Learning

I'm a pretty curious person to begin with, but in 2016 I want to be even more curious about culture, political events, news, art, music and more. I personally think that no matter your age, it is so important to keep learning and developing. The people I've met and opportunities I've had in just 6 months in Chicago [how has it been that long?!] have already taught me so much, I can't wait to see what 2016 will teach me! 

What are your New Year's resolutions? I would love to hear from you! 

Alright y'all, it's honesty hour! I've been wanting to write about this for a while, but hadn't had the motivation to come right out and say it yet, so here goes nothing.

For those of you that don't know, I studied advertising in school and my biggest goal in life was (and still is) to become a creative director for an ad agency. During school, I had three internships, worked part-time and was in all the right clubs and organizations to set me on the path for success. I was receiving great feedback from my professors and my bosses and felt like I was on top of the world.

Enter senior year.

I'm sure some of you are familiar with the feeling of being in a stalemate and that you aren't reaching your full potential or maybe have experienced it before. During senior year I always felt that I was waiting for the next part of my life to start and I just had to wait and wait until graduation for it to happen. I was so ready to be a grown up [WHAT] and all I wanted was to start my career.

Upon friends receiving job offers five months before graduating and seeing peers in my major get jobs at great agencies, I was becoming discouraged and thought that maybe I had set my goal too high. I talked to my advisors and family about what plan would work best and tried to network with as many people as possible to find the right fit.

Graduation came and went and still no offer.

Fast forward to July and to me applying to about 10 jobs a day, at this point any job that was hiring in the marketing/ advertising industry or even had the word marketing in the description. My lowest point came when the agency of my dreams, Leo Burnett, had chosen their interns for the year and I wasn't on the list of those that were accepted.

For those that aren't familiar - the ad world, especially in large cities, is extremely competitive and internships are pretty much your only way of being hired unless you've had a salary job within an agency before. Leo Burnett is known for hiring their interns on at the end of the program and with my internship experience I thought I had a good shot, so as you can guess I was devastated that I couldn't even land an interview for one.

After a few sketchy interviews for random positions and some much needed Ben and Jerry's, God sent me a little gift in the form of an email. I opened the email and realized it was for a marketing position at an investment banking firm [my thoughts - yeah right I can't even stand algebra, there's no way I could do that or even want to]. But, by this point I was pulling my hair out and was jumping at any opportunity that could pull me away from Netflix and the massive amounts of ice cream I'd been eating, so I replied to learn more about the position.

I scheduled the phone interview and I had never been so intrigued during a job interview. Long story short, I went through three more interviews and accepted their offer to be their Client Experience Manager.

I was so excited to accept a job that I really cared about and to work for a company that really invested [ no pun intended ;) ] in me and my future. After a couple weeks of getting started and learning about the company, I was sort of at a cross roads and was asking myself if I made the right choice. Part of me was loving what I was doing and the freedom that came with it, but the other part of me was day dreaming about being in an ad agency talking campaign strategy with the creative team. It hadn't hit me that I was living my dream, just in a different way, until my boss told me I was allowed to own that I worked in the finance world.

Translation: I wasn't comfortable telling people I worked in investment banking, because I didn't have much of an idea about the industry and I clearly don't work with the numbers that most people think I do when I tell them what I do. I was putting myself in a bubble and not accepting what I was actually accomplishing.

Upon voicing this confusion to my boss and asking for his advice, he gave me the best ego boost I've heard in my life. "Amanda, you have to realize what you're accomplishing here. I know this isn't the industry you know and it isn't your dream job in the ad world. But, to be frank, if you were at Leo Burnett right now you would be an intern, but you are here - running the marketing department."

BOOM. BAM I WAS FLOORED. I wasn't even realizing that I was living my dream. I was sooo caught up trying to become the person that I was pushing so hard to be and I hadn't even realized the blessing that was brought into my life.

The reason I'm posting this is not to brag about my position or how "my dream came true anyways..." But, to remind y'all of how life surprises you, God surprises you, and challenges you everyday to push yourself further. Sometimes it is hard to recognize something as a dream come true because you're so focused on the end result that you miss the journey of getting to that dream. I didn't give myself credit for running the marketing of an investment banking firm because I was so caught up in saying, "One day I'll be in an agency." I was loving my new job, but focusing on what I didn't have instead of appreciating the amazing thing I did have.

So, try and think of every opportunity in the most positive way and give something a shot that, at first, you may have thought would never be the right fit. Turns out, it could be the best decision you make.

Thank you for reading and letting me voice my story. In the very least I hope this makes you realize a situation could have a unique outcome, one that you may not have expected. In the best case scenario, I hope it gives you the courage to take a leap of faith and realize that not everything has to go according to plan. xoxo

Moving to Chicago has meant a lot of new things and changes for me. One of them mainly just being change of environment. 

Growing up I was always taught to do unto others as you would like done unto you, to give back to my community and to help those less fortunate than I am in any way I can. In Kentucky, I can't say that I was exposed to any drastic lifestyles or people who were in extreme poverty very often. On my walk to class I would sometimes see a homeless man walking down the street or a someone on the corner of the street holding a sign asking for anything anyone could offer. I really wasn't exposed to it that much, until I traveled to Egypt in 2008. While what I witnessed there was far more extreme than what I've witnessed in the States, it definitely had me thinking about what the rest of the world looks like outside of my bubble of Kentucky and UK. Going back to high school and eventually college, I remembered the experiences I had in Egypt and would think back to them when I felt I wasn't being appreciative of what I had. Being pretty philanthropically involved in college I met people who struggled and helped with events and fundraising for those less fortunate - but it never came to be a part of my daily life.

Seeing people in dire need every single day has definitely put into perspective that I am so lucky and so fortunate - even when I feel like I'm not getting what I deserve or have a want that is completely unimaginable for someone who is on the street everyday asking for money to feed themselves. I guess my point in posting this is to share my perspective with you so that you can think about the world around you. We get up and go to work everyday and have the same routine, going about our day and probably sticking to the same 10 topics that surround our lifestyle when it comes to thinking or day dreaming. Not once do I think on daily basis, "Where is my next meal going to come from?" or "How can I tell my 6 year old daughter that we don't have anywhere to stay tonight because the shelter is full and I only managed to get $12 off the kind people that helped me." 

From our own perspective, we all have problems, we all have complications that make life hard and to be honest, we are all selfish. We want to help ourselves before we help others and these past four months in Chicago have definitely changed that for me. I remember the first time I was approached on the street by a homeless person asking for money. Just to be completely transparent with y'all - I was scared. I was alone and had never been actually approached by someone like that. I've walked past many people who ask for money, but never had someone come directly up to me. When he asked for money I said I was sorry, but I didn't have anything that I could offer. I really didn't, but remember thinking to myself that I probably wouldn't have anyways. Why is that? 

The homeless are often generalized into people who ask for money so they can continue to buy drugs or alcohol, or use that money for something that others don't deem necessary. Because of this generalization, many of the people in actual need get looked over and the people who could help them don't. This is the mind set I had when this man approached me. But why did I judge him and make assumptions about his life when I knew nothing about him? 

Come Sunday morning, Kollin and I were sitting in Mass and the priest began his homily. The subject of his homily was none other than that of helping those around us. The main message that I took away from Mass that day was that many people don't help others when they are capable because they think, "Oh, someone else will help them. I don't have to," or "I don't want to be the person who does that, no one else is." As humans, we usually don't go into uncharted territory unless someone else does it first and makes it out okay. This is the same mentality that many people have about helping others. The priest continued to talk about a time on the train when a man stood up and asked for money so he could have a meal that day. The priest admitted that is how he felt and once a woman approached the man with some cash, others started to do the same. Everyone who gave money and probably some others were completely capable of helping him, but needed an example to follow.

A story to take with you is one that happened to me this past weekend. Kollin and I were coming back from the farmer's market heading for the Red Line. As we are talking we pass a homeless man and he says, "Hello ma'am, do you have any spare change? A quarter or anything would really help me." I didn't hear and Kollin said that he didn't have any change on him as we mostly use debit cards. We approached the corner of the street and I asked Kollin what he said. Upon hearing that this man wanted only a quarter and I complain about how annoying change in my pocket or purse is, it really sunk in how blessed I am. That change is someone's meal or bus ride to work. At the farmer's market I bought cilantro and received change back - 50 cents. I thought about telling the woman to keep the change because I didn't want to carry it around with me. For some reason I didn't and placed it in my purse. Then 20 minutes later, I meet a man who desperately needs the change that I thought about just throwing away. 

So, after a long post my main point is this - be that person who starts the trend and helps others when you can. Be that person who doesn't assume and thinks the best of people. Be the person who thinks about changing your perspective of the less fortunate and take the time to really think about how you can help someone - because you can, even if that isn't in monetary form. A simple hello, a piece of fruit from your lunch, a prayer for them or even just a smile can change how that person feels or gets through his or her day.