1. I want that, but not yet.
I've been dating the same guy off and on for almost nine years. Most people say "When are you getting engaged!?," when they hear how long we've been together and that we're living together in the city. Well, to be honest... no time soon. Whenever someone I know from school or my sorority gets engaged I am so happy for them and think how great that moment for them is. Kollin and I have always been so open to the idea of marriage and planning our lives together, but engagement has never been on the forefront of our relationship. We are both so excited for that day to come, but we also are so excited for the amazing things that will happen in between.
2. I'm exactly where I want to be.
Every couple is different. When you know, you know. Sometimes it takes 5 years or two months. Kollin and I have a "plan" you could say, but for the time being we are completely content just being excited over going grocery shopping together. Don't compare your relationship to someone else's and think that one path is any better than another. Every couple has an idea of what their plan should be and finding that plan will let you know where you are most comfortable.
3. It's okay to put my career first.
Growing up in the South I was always surrounded with women who had the idea of the "American Dream" being going to college and finding a great guy, getting married after graduation, having children soon after and finding a career somewhere in between. While there is nothing wrong with that plan, I personally think the "American Dream" is accomplishing your personal dream - whatever that may be. I've always been very career driven and to be honest, it is my first priority in my personal "American Dream." In a world where women are idealized as homemakers and caregivers, why can't we add CEO to that description?
4. Jealousy will happen.
When logging onto Facebook and seeing a girl I know showing off her amazing ring or an Instagram post of her bachelorette party, I'll admit I'm jealous. What girl doesn't want to plan her dream wedding and experience all the amazing things that an engagement brings? But when thinking about why I am actually jealous, I realized I was jealous of the experience and idea rather than the reality.
5. I'm not ready.
When someone the same age or even younger gets engaged I think, "I'm I supposed to be doing that now?!"
Yes, I am in love and feel I've found the person I want to be with forever, but why does that mean it has to happen because I've realized that? To be honest, I'm not ready for a wedding until all parts of my life are ready - finances, career, law school for Kollin, and just time to grow as a partnership. In a nutshell, yes I could marry Kollin tomorrow and be so very happy, but what am I giving up for that just because I love the idea of getting married? Many people who marry young say they gave up nothing and accomplished all they wanted to while married. But, like I said before every couple is different and it is okay that finding the perfect booties for Fall is higher on my priority list than getting engaged lol (kidding, kinda ;) ).